...so i touched it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
