remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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