you're like a bully in the Christmas story
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.