I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you