Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??