didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?