yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
