3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
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