Betty ford says i'm here all night
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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