I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize