also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
