u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
