Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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