Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize