I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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