Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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