You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
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You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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