When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
