First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize