dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
