He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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