So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
