You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
