i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
