when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i dont even know how to be here
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
