we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
