lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
