Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
