Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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