i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
