this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
