I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
After last night, I could never be a politician.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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