Little spoons don't ask big questions
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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