We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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