She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
