My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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