I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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