Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Rumble strips road head = magical
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
