Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
