you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
