doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
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I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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