A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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