Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
