Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
