New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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