Sry I called you an 8
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
