it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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