the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
