heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
