he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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