im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
