I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
