I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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