I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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