So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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