no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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