Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
