Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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