Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better after having sex.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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